Something is missing in me.
“Do I know which jigsaw is it?” I asked myself... Not once, not twice, but again and again… On the street, in the blanket, at the shower room, under the blue sky and yet, I don’t seem to know or do I?
The morning fragrance of orange jasmine on a beautiful day seemed to explain my puzzle well. The uneasiness and relentless were swiped away as the breeze flew through my soul. Just when I thought I found the missing piece and the smile on my face told me not other wise. On the contrary, I felt myself struggling in the doom of quicksand some days later. Trying so hard not to sink in and keeping my head up to breath in the disappearing air for survival. The tear in eyes simply told me that I was not done with it as yet! The feeling is like walking in the midst of ambiguity, trying to hold on something and not to trip, whilst there is no direction to exit, nor any hints on when this is coming to end. Not to say how all this even started…
Though I know life is good and I should not be complaining, *Alright… My relationship ended sour and was agonising… Fine, big deal!* *Smile* I can fell the unbalance in me and I know I am not that happy.
“I need a change.” I tell myself. I need something refreshing.
I rented a new apartment by Chapel. I began my new rotation at Collins. I took a new jogging path along the Albert Lake line. I read a new book that tells me eat, pray and love. I put a new fragrance that reminds me of happy. I wore a new milky hoodies that makes me comfortable. I dated couple of new guys and my first crush. *Surprise, surprise, surprise~ Story for another time~* *Smile* I bought a new body cream. I experimented a new dish with lemon grass… I am taking baby steps.
Also, I set off a new path with Chamomile Ink.
Finding myself? Don’t I already know myself? Well, how about finding myself who I have not met. *Smile*
“Do I know which jigsaw is it?” I asked myself... Not once, not twice, but again and again… On the street, in the blanket, at the shower room, under the blue sky and yet, I don’t seem to know or do I?
The morning fragrance of orange jasmine on a beautiful day seemed to explain my puzzle well. The uneasiness and relentless were swiped away as the breeze flew through my soul. Just when I thought I found the missing piece and the smile on my face told me not other wise. On the contrary, I felt myself struggling in the doom of quicksand some days later. Trying so hard not to sink in and keeping my head up to breath in the disappearing air for survival. The tear in eyes simply told me that I was not done with it as yet! The feeling is like walking in the midst of ambiguity, trying to hold on something and not to trip, whilst there is no direction to exit, nor any hints on when this is coming to end. Not to say how all this even started…
Though I know life is good and I should not be complaining, *Alright… My relationship ended sour and was agonising… Fine, big deal!* *Smile* I can fell the unbalance in me and I know I am not that happy.
“I need a change.” I tell myself. I need something refreshing.
I rented a new apartment by Chapel. I began my new rotation at Collins. I took a new jogging path along the Albert Lake line. I read a new book that tells me eat, pray and love. I put a new fragrance that reminds me of happy. I wore a new milky hoodies that makes me comfortable. I dated couple of new guys and my first crush. *Surprise, surprise, surprise~ Story for another time~* *Smile* I bought a new body cream. I experimented a new dish with lemon grass… I am taking baby steps.
Also, I set off a new path with Chamomile Ink.
Finding myself? Don’t I already know myself? Well, how about finding myself who I have not met. *Smile*
2 comments:
我隱約只懂了，你想要個新開始。是嗎？
就我理解到的這部分，我是絕對相信汰舊換新，有著強大的力量。物質上與心靈上，都能帶來煥然一新的氣象。
就好像每當我覺得很煩的時候，都會找一個時間點告訴自己，那一刻之後，會有新的秩序，一切將會逐漸妥當。
也許是睡一覺之後，也許是某個月的第一天開始。
這讓我有種，昨日種種仿如昨日死，明日起將是新天新地的美好憧憬。
你還蠻厲害的，都看的明白。
我之前想了一想，竟然要重新開始，就乾脆把之間的部落格來個快刀斬亂麻，把它結了，再另闢一處田地。除此之外，我也覺得太多不相干的人知道我和我的部落格，所以也想要回些些私人空間。我也覺的自己有點傻，把自己的網站給了喜歡的人，讓我變成一張完全透明的紙，讓別人看透，而自己完全不知道另一個人的想法。。。其實，是對，是錯，我也不想去想了。。。
這部落格的中文名是雛菊印跡。雛菊是花朵，也是雜草。它在大部分的地方都能生存，是一個生命力非常堅毅的植物。無論四季多坎坷，它總會在來季的夏天來臨時，綻放出絢麗燦爛的艷黃笑容。除了生命所帶來的啟示，更多的是它安撫和平緩心神的療效。
我呢。。。我想像雛菊般堅強，也想它能為我帶來心靈上的安寧，希望在發現還沒發現的自己的同時，也能透過文與字為跌跌碰碰走來的自己帶來慰悸和寧靜。
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