"Whats up?" said him.
"Do you wanna catch up for dinner?" I asked.
"... ... ... I don't feel like..." said him softly.
"Well, it is fine. I will see you around, bye." said I politely and ended our conversation.
It is him, my first ever crush.
I did love him many years ago and have always hope the best for him whenever I thought of him. Little that I thought we would meet again, as his baby sister told me that he would be heading back to Thailand early this year. So when I met him after couple of years later on the street of Melbourne, he recognised me and initiated the conversation, I was pretty happy and rather surprised to see him.
That point of time, I was thinking maybe lover not to be, while at least as a friend. Swiftly, we changed numbers and caught up for dinner. However since then, he has always turned me down when I asked him out for dinner, not once, not twice... *Hmmm... For matter of facts, I can't really remember anymore.* Were they intended or unintended? Regardless, the impression I got was simply that he is avoiding me. Thus, I decide to take this to an end.
I drop him a text message, "... Well, I know you feel uncomfortable to meet me as a friend. I will not contact you anymore... For you, all the best. Not hard feelings. :)".
Then, I deleted his number from my phone book without any hesitations.
I need not to please others nor be bothered by others who don't appreciate me. As Shimada Youshichi's Grandmother once said, "Even if there are two to three person dislike you, turn around, there are one hundred million people behind you. " I can't make everyone likes me nor will everyone dislikes me. *smile*
I thought I will feel at least some pinch of pain, but I didn't. Instead, I feel peace in heart and smiling while typing this entry. I guess I have grown so much. I can now better handle relationship, better than the green me I was years ago, months ago or even minutes ago. *smile*
Coming from the radio, "Loving you isn't the right thing to do... ... ... You can go you own way, go your own way..." as Kate sang... *smile*
"Do you wanna catch up for dinner?" I asked.
"... ... ... I don't feel like..." said him softly.
"Well, it is fine. I will see you around, bye." said I politely and ended our conversation.
It is him, my first ever crush.
I did love him many years ago and have always hope the best for him whenever I thought of him. Little that I thought we would meet again, as his baby sister told me that he would be heading back to Thailand early this year. So when I met him after couple of years later on the street of Melbourne, he recognised me and initiated the conversation, I was pretty happy and rather surprised to see him.
That point of time, I was thinking maybe lover not to be, while at least as a friend. Swiftly, we changed numbers and caught up for dinner. However since then, he has always turned me down when I asked him out for dinner, not once, not twice... *Hmmm... For matter of facts, I can't really remember anymore.* Were they intended or unintended? Regardless, the impression I got was simply that he is avoiding me. Thus, I decide to take this to an end.
I drop him a text message, "... Well, I know you feel uncomfortable to meet me as a friend. I will not contact you anymore... For you, all the best. Not hard feelings. :)".
Then, I deleted his number from my phone book without any hesitations.
I need not to please others nor be bothered by others who don't appreciate me. As Shimada Youshichi's Grandmother once said, "Even if there are two to three person dislike you, turn around, there are one hundred million people behind you. " I can't make everyone likes me nor will everyone dislikes me. *smile*
I thought I will feel at least some pinch of pain, but I didn't. Instead, I feel peace in heart and smiling while typing this entry. I guess I have grown so much. I can now better handle relationship, better than the green me I was years ago, months ago or even minutes ago. *smile*
Coming from the radio, "Loving you isn't the right thing to do... ... ... You can go you own way, go your own way..." as Kate sang... *smile*
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