"The next train leaving from platform 13 is the 4:38pm Sandringham line..."
Swiftly, I rush down the stairs to hop on the train. Am I in a hurry to get back? Am I? I know I am not. The symptoms of irregular chronic heart beats, restless, cold sweaty palms and suffocation tell me that I am not, but something else. I can sense them... Beside the pole? Under the seat? Behind the fat lady with a rainbow umbrella? They are somewhere out there. As unobvious as possible, I sit quietly at a quiet corner, take out the book that I just bought two days ago and start to read silently. Trying hard, trying so hard to keep myself focus on the book.
Out of the sudden, a sickening voice from my back. "Why are you here by yourself?" Loneliness whispers by my left ear.
The next moment, Anxiety utters "Are you waiting for anyone to call?" beside my right ears with his cold hands laying on my shoulder.
Whilst Depression sneak to my right seat, appropriating all my delectation without even asking me for permission and leaves me with literally nothing. I yell mutely, asking him to stop, only to find myself completely ignored. They have slighted my plea for mercy. I got upset and helpless.
"FUCK YOU ALL AND LEAVE ME ALONE!" I tell them off desperately. What I get in return are just their depraved smiles and series of questioning from Loneliness.
He asks "Why are you single for all these while? Why aren't the people returning your calls? Why are you here all by yourself... again? Why are you pretending that you are strong and tough when you are as brittle as a dry match stick? Why are you smiling when there are agonising punctures in your fragile heart? NO ONE WANTS YOU!"
The others respond "Yeah, Lone is right!" with their clapping hands.
Not even a second for me to voice out... I go speechless under his interrogations.
I feel sad...
As I arrive at my stop, I quickly walk out the train and head back home. Gradually, I increase my walking pace. Hoping to get them out of my tail, yet my effort falls apart. These goons are super glue like. They are still here, around me, walking beside me. The only difference now is that they have stopped their harsh words. They watch me panic and murmuring to each others with a wicked smile.
I need you, Positivity. Where are you when I need you the most?
"Om mani padme hum. Om mani padme hum. Om mani padme hum..." I chant in heart, attempting to calm down.
I will change as soon as I arrive and I will head for a jog. I need that...
Swiftly, I rush down the stairs to hop on the train. Am I in a hurry to get back? Am I? I know I am not. The symptoms of irregular chronic heart beats, restless, cold sweaty palms and suffocation tell me that I am not, but something else. I can sense them... Beside the pole? Under the seat? Behind the fat lady with a rainbow umbrella? They are somewhere out there. As unobvious as possible, I sit quietly at a quiet corner, take out the book that I just bought two days ago and start to read silently. Trying hard, trying so hard to keep myself focus on the book.
Out of the sudden, a sickening voice from my back. "Why are you here by yourself?" Loneliness whispers by my left ear.
The next moment, Anxiety utters "Are you waiting for anyone to call?" beside my right ears with his cold hands laying on my shoulder.
Whilst Depression sneak to my right seat, appropriating all my delectation without even asking me for permission and leaves me with literally nothing. I yell mutely, asking him to stop, only to find myself completely ignored. They have slighted my plea for mercy. I got upset and helpless.
"FUCK YOU ALL AND LEAVE ME ALONE!" I tell them off desperately. What I get in return are just their depraved smiles and series of questioning from Loneliness.
He asks "Why are you single for all these while? Why aren't the people returning your calls? Why are you here all by yourself... again? Why are you pretending that you are strong and tough when you are as brittle as a dry match stick? Why are you smiling when there are agonising punctures in your fragile heart? NO ONE WANTS YOU!"
The others respond "Yeah, Lone is right!" with their clapping hands.
Not even a second for me to voice out... I go speechless under his interrogations.
I feel sad...
As I arrive at my stop, I quickly walk out the train and head back home. Gradually, I increase my walking pace. Hoping to get them out of my tail, yet my effort falls apart. These goons are super glue like. They are still here, around me, walking beside me. The only difference now is that they have stopped their harsh words. They watch me panic and murmuring to each others with a wicked smile.
I need you, Positivity. Where are you when I need you the most?
"Om mani padme hum. Om mani padme hum. Om mani padme hum..." I chant in heart, attempting to calm down.
I will change as soon as I arrive and I will head for a jog. I need that...
2 comments:
我...我...我...看不太懂耶。一知半解的。
很抱歉，文藝少女的才氣，在中文方面已幾乎江郎才盡，更別提英文了。
又，我為了能熱情有活力的留言，還特地申請此地的帳號呢，看我多看重你。
前陣之，不知道為何突然覺得孤獨，憂鬱和慌神。這三個負面情緒有如三個惡棍般，對我強追不捨，奚落嘲笑，一而再，再而三的對我施與殘酷的打擊。。。心情跌到谷底，又與哭無淚，整個人悶的不知什麼樣。。。這是我對這些惡棍的無聲吶喊，“給我滾蛋！！！！！”
現在，我好很多了。但是，我知道那三個狗腿子還在遠處觀望，伺機造反。。。
智菁，謝了！
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